to say that i was angry just now is an understatement. i was like BOILING. had like a huge argument with my bro and i was SO angry with him. as in yeah i can admit that its partially my fault but its also his fault just that he refuses to admit it. BUT. i had a long chat with my mother and i guess shes right in that thats what being gracious is about. forgiving and loving even when the other person is also in the wrong and stuff.its easy to say ill forgive but when it comes down to it its really hard.REALLY REALLY hard.please Lord give me strength!
anyway that was one thing i learnt. another was that my mother is actually qt a wise person. as in.i guess i always kinda looked down on my mother abit cos she doesnt know as many things as my father and when it comes to intelligence and stuff my father is smarter and i have always like respected intelligence qt highly. but of cos i always loved her lah. just that i always feel that my father is smarter than her. but today i realised that my mother is smart in other ways. like shes really really good at mediation cos she doesnt lose her temper easily and is able to like consider both sides and stuff and also she is wise in reading people as well.i guess thats why my father left it to her to talk to us and didnt get involved at all cos he is definately not as good in that. and like. she really gives the impression that she understands both parties and is a really calming influence when ur super angry. no wonder shes a teacher haha.
also i learnt that i must respect my brother. even though i dont really at the moment, as in i dun think there is anything worth respecting about him, but i have to because he is my brother and for no other reason. my mother was saying tt she respects auntie helen tho she is a little dotty and stuff becuase she is her elder sister and that i should too because that is the way God planned it to be, and i guess she is right so i will try my best to respect him even when i dont think that things he does are correct.
it frustrates me that he is so self centred and arrogant but after talking to my mother i admit that i am rather rude and headstrong as well so its definately not all his fault and i know that it was because of my own pride that i didnt admit it sooner.its like after the whole thing i can think about it and i guess my way of going about things was not the best one at all, and that i should not keep thinking about why must i apologise when he didnt and stuff because God will deal with him in His own time but right now He is dealing with me, and that learning how to be a better person involves me only and not my bro so i shldnt care about wether he feels bad or wad.
its just really hard for me but being gracious is never easy i think, and i promised my mother i will try my best so i really will. trials are out our way so that God can refine us to be better people and i feel that this trial, painful as it was, has taught me many things about dealing with people and also about my family.so i thank God for tonight, thank You for teaching me and molding me, for giving me my mother to help guide me and for blessing me in every way.i always like din really understand how david could praise God even through his trials and stuff but now i guess in a small way i do kinda understand how its like. sad but yet joyous that you can learn something through your adversity. i think thats a wonderful thing about being a christian because at least we seek out things we can learn from the trials thrown our way so they do not become as hopeless or as bad as they seem to be at first. i love You God!
anyway that was one thing i learnt. another was that my mother is actually qt a wise person. as in.i guess i always kinda looked down on my mother abit cos she doesnt know as many things as my father and when it comes to intelligence and stuff my father is smarter and i have always like respected intelligence qt highly. but of cos i always loved her lah. just that i always feel that my father is smarter than her. but today i realised that my mother is smart in other ways. like shes really really good at mediation cos she doesnt lose her temper easily and is able to like consider both sides and stuff and also she is wise in reading people as well.i guess thats why my father left it to her to talk to us and didnt get involved at all cos he is definately not as good in that. and like. she really gives the impression that she understands both parties and is a really calming influence when ur super angry. no wonder shes a teacher haha.
also i learnt that i must respect my brother. even though i dont really at the moment, as in i dun think there is anything worth respecting about him, but i have to because he is my brother and for no other reason. my mother was saying tt she respects auntie helen tho she is a little dotty and stuff becuase she is her elder sister and that i should too because that is the way God planned it to be, and i guess she is right so i will try my best to respect him even when i dont think that things he does are correct.
it frustrates me that he is so self centred and arrogant but after talking to my mother i admit that i am rather rude and headstrong as well so its definately not all his fault and i know that it was because of my own pride that i didnt admit it sooner.its like after the whole thing i can think about it and i guess my way of going about things was not the best one at all, and that i should not keep thinking about why must i apologise when he didnt and stuff because God will deal with him in His own time but right now He is dealing with me, and that learning how to be a better person involves me only and not my bro so i shldnt care about wether he feels bad or wad.
its just really hard for me but being gracious is never easy i think, and i promised my mother i will try my best so i really will. trials are out our way so that God can refine us to be better people and i feel that this trial, painful as it was, has taught me many things about dealing with people and also about my family.so i thank God for tonight, thank You for teaching me and molding me, for giving me my mother to help guide me and for blessing me in every way.i always like din really understand how david could praise God even through his trials and stuff but now i guess in a small way i do kinda understand how its like. sad but yet joyous that you can learn something through your adversity. i think thats a wonderful thing about being a christian because at least we seek out things we can learn from the trials thrown our way so they do not become as hopeless or as bad as they seem to be at first. i love You God!
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